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Life in lockdown: How to handle the worry of others not following Covid rules

By PA News

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Despite repeated messages from the Government to stay home, protect the vulnerable and avoid all unnecessary travel, it is clear that not everyone is adhering to the coronavirus guidelines.

If you have spent months avoiding seeing family and friends, it can be frustrating to enter a supermarket and spot someone shopping without a mask, or to hear about an acquaintance bending the rules to visit other households.

And knowing that some people are not getting behind the national effort can quickly cause anxiety about the spread of the virus and what the future holds.

(Zac Goodwin/PA)
(Zac Goodwin/PA)

While you cannot control what others do, experts say you can learn to influence your emotional response to rule-breakers. Here is how to keep calm and carry on.

– Stick with your bubble

Dr Meg Arroll, chartered psychiatrist at Healthspan, says it is a good idea to try and distance yourself from loved ones who are interpreting the guidance differently from you – especially if you feel that it is putting your health at risk.

“Be clear with those in your immediate bubble on what the latest rules are and how you will adhere to them,” she says. “Stick to the boundaries that you’ve agreed on and minimise your contact with others who may not be so rigid.”

(Yui Mok/PA)
(Yui Mok/PA)

– If worry sets in, breathe deeply

If you start to feel a sense of panic after mixing with people who are not wearing masks in indoor public spaces, Dr Arroll says you should try breathing deeply through your belly to halt the innate stress response.

At the same time, you can reassure yourself that your face-covering is doing its job.

“Also, remember that there are some circumstances that prevent people from wearing masks,” Dr Arroll says. “They may have a medical reason for not wearing one, so bear that in mind before you jump to judgments.”

– Limit your time on social media

It is easy to feel outraged if you spot an influencer or celebrity on a foreign holiday on Instagram, so unfollow accounts that are making you feel uncomfortable.

Of course, it is tempting to want to confront those you think are flouting the rules, but Dr Arroll says that typing aggressive comments on people’s holiday posts is an unhealthy way to address your feelings.

(Nick Ansell/PA)
(Nick Ansell/PA)

“Anger is very often a response to fear, so it would be useful to release this feeling in a more productive way. You could talk to a close friend about how you feel, or write it down in a journaling exercise,” she says.

– Exercise away the stress

If someone you care about acts in a way that goes against your personal boundaries, it is normal to feel upset about it.

“It’s a very stressful time so if you’re prone to anxiety, make sure you take the time to manage that stress proactively,” says Dr Paul McLaren, of Priory’s Wellbeing Centres.

“Aerobic exercise and active relaxation will help, either indoor or outdoor,” he says, adding that you could also try meditating.

– Tell others how you feel

Priory psychotherapist Pamela Roberts says: “If you know someone that’s repeatedly breaking the rules, talk to them about how you feel and the importance of the rules to you.

“This is to ensure that others are aware of the rights and wrongs of current regulations, which will help to give you peace of mind about the situation.”

(Jacob King/PA)
(Jacob King/PA)

– Bear in mind that everyone is different

The heightened anxiety around the coronavirus pandemic has left us hyper-critical of others, but it is good to keep your head by reminding yourself that not everyone is in your shoes.

“It might sound obvious, but it’s important to remember everyone is different,” stresses therapist Jessica Boston. “They handle life challenges differently, and interpret information differently, so remember that it isn’t a personal attack on you.”

That said, everyone is being asked to do their bit by sticking to the rules and if you are seriously concerned about a breach of the latest Government guidance in the UK, you can find out how to report an incident by visiting police.uk.

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