Foolscap: stop the press
THIS is the blatt for the sensational news, is it not? Last week’s front page was as exciting as any national newspaper full of doom and gloom.
The weather predictions under the heading ‘No sun – and now a severe snow warning’ suggested that because the Gulf Stream has shifted, we are in for it in no uncertain terms.
Cold, cold winters and gloomy, horrible summers.
The headline may have upset a few of those people who attempt to earn a living in the tourism sector, for (a) advertising that the weather here is foul and, worse (b), reminding us all that the weather here is foul.
Naturally, we two up here are nearer the sun on the 10th floor, and can remember our childhood (demonstrating an exceptionally long memory – Ed) with long, hot summers, blue skies and endless warmth.
Now some impudent scientists suggest that we might be kidding ourselves, and that previous years were a bit varied also. Not that we mind varied.
It’s the constant gloom and cold that we are objecting to. We are both convinced that over recent years, our summers have become quite distinctly worse than they used to be. However, there is a bit of good news.
Immediately below that story, another headline grabbed our attention. ‘House prices trebled in ten years’, it shouted. Given that local properties have gone up whoppingly and are mostly worth loads, and that in those exotic places in the sun like Portugal and Greece, house prices are at rock bottom, we think we may have found the answer to the weather problem for local residents.
We don’t want to say any more, for fear of causing a rush, but if anyone cares to cross our palms with silver – or more accurately, stuff our wallets with folding stuff – we will be happy to share our idea with you.
And a last note that might slightly cheer you up: an American scientist and expert on climate, Richard Seager, of the Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory of Columbia University, has said: "It is high time that the Gulf Stream-European climate myth was resigned to the graveyard of defunct misconceptions, along with the Earth being flat and the sun going around the Earth."
We take it from his subtle way with words that he doesn’t think it affects our weather much at all.