Irresistible offer to escape the Scottish summer
PROBABLY due to the particularly unstable summer weather we have been experiencing, Aviemore‘s Angus MacNeill has been searching the Internet for accommodation in sunny Mallorca, and came across this irresistible offer.
Sadly he has had to resist it, “as ‘er indoors is coming too, and may well not approve”.
CITY PLAN YOU & ME
Includes:
Double bed subject to availability;
Late check-out; and
Bottle of cava and romantic tart.
The double bed is subject to availability, but apparently there is no shortage of romantic tarts. Trouble is if you don’t get the double bed, what do you do with the romantic tart, and will you need the late check-out?
Answers, in the best possible taste, on a postcard please to the News of the World.
Following on from that, we recently noticed when we stopped at a Little Chef recently (yes, they do still exist) that the card on the table offered us a Free Wifi.
We had our cup of coffee but the free Wifie didn’t turn up, so we cannot say if she was a better or worse deal than the Majorcan romantic tart.
MONEY WORRIES? WHO'S WORRIED?
ANOTHER recession, or to be more exact, a further slide of the same recession. The news doesn’t get any better.
However, as we have the greatest concern for our readers we are prepared, as usual, to give you some good advice to help see you through the dark times ahead:
If you have no money then don’t worry. Things can’t get any worse.
If you have a little money then just sit tight and do nothing fiscal until it all blows by.
If you have lots of money then we don’t really care, so just stop complaining. It’s probably all your fault anyway.
POLITICIAN OFFERS HOME VISITS
FOR years there have been threats of a ‘shake-up’ in Strathy Towers.
We two have been warned to keep a tight rein on the way we conduct ourselves financially or else the hammer will fall and we may well end up having to pay for our own bar tabs. Thrift, as we are about to demonstrate, is not always the best, or indeed the most palatable, option.
Take the NHS, for example; apparently the swingeing cuts the service is facing have left hospital bosses unable to sleep at night.
We had no idea how serious this issue was until in last week’s “Strathy” we noticed an advert placed by Fergus Ewing, MSP, heralding an advice surgery for constituents. The popularity of this kind of event can best be gauged by the amount of time Mr Ewing put aside to ‘advise’.
A whole hour, yes an entire 60 minutes of his time were to be devoted to dispensing wisdom and sage advice to the common herd. More worryingly, the advert also suggested that home visits were possible. That’s great.
Due to government cutbacks as we lie all feverish in our beds at night, sick with some kind of malaise, we can no longer phone the good doctor and expect him to turn up with a warm word and cool stethoscope.
We can, however, be lying in the same sick bed, and by goodness, be bothered by a politician, who even has the audacity to suggest that ‘no appointment is necessary’.
It’s hard to imagine what kind of crazed man would actually consider making an appointment for a politician to visit his home, even more unnerving to think that anyone sane would even suggest it was an option.
Perhaps Mr Ewing should retrain as a GP. At least that way he could dispense some useful advice on these ‘home visits’. Take a stiff drink, lie down, don’t answer the door. It would be a good start.
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