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He thought that he should attempt one of the 'new' adrenaline sports and felt a session of 'canyoning' might just suit.

He don't know what it is but is sounded much better than 'duckies'.

Seeing the new kids on the Aviemore active scene at the old tourist office 'Active Outdoor Pursuits' are at the cutting edge of technology, our mole decided to book 'on-line'.

Typing in 'Active Aviemore.com' he came up with a site recommending various local activity providers but not Active Outdoor Pursuits.

Indeed a few clicks around the web site noted that it promoted almost all the retail outlets except the new 'Active' shop.

Using the best investigative journalist techniques, for which our moles are justly renowned, he found out that the website 'Active Aviemore.com' is the property of a disgruntled ex-employee of 'Active Outdoor Pursuits'.

This ex-employee having some real or imagined grievance is extracting his revenge, since his acrimonious departure from the company, by promoting the competition.

Take this as a warning for any business to ensure that it owns the copyright to its website.

More importantly the entire foolscap team has found out what canyoning is and we have unanimously agreed that it is not for us.

We're off to a local loch to rent a canoe – much more our style – for a bit of gentle paddling and exploring.

We should also check up that we own our own website. Or at least we would if we had one.

Take a look in the mirror

MANY local guest house owners take the well-being of their guests seriously even when they are out and about.

One such lady is happy to discuss travel plans and give tips and advice on what to do and where to go to her many regular visitors. Even when her guests are independent and make their holiday arrangements without the benefit of her advice, she is solicitous on their return.

The remarks of one group who obviously do not subscribe to the philosophy of the poet Burns when he suggested that we try "to see oursels as ithers see us" has shaken her faith in some tourists' grasp of reality.

The sheer crust of these people has left her speechless which in her case, it has to be said, is quite some feat.

When her guests returned from a day out she enquired, "What did you do today?"

They replied: "We went to Fort Augustus and Drumnadrochit."

She responded: "That's nice. Did you enjoy it?"

Their killer reply was: "Not really. They were full of tourists."

Fire in the hole

WHERE would we be without Health and Safety?

A local gentleman with a reasonably sporting nature was invited to a party at CairnGorm Mountain a few weeks ago.

Being of an adventurous nature not to mention a hardy constitution, he joined the fashion of the moment and ordered a cocktail.

His chosen potion was a 'slippery nipple' which we will henceforth describe as a slippery ni**le.

This is a decent family paper and we try to avoid language that could inflame the passions of our more excitable readers.

The slippery ni**le is a layered cocktail shooter most commonly composed of Baileys Irish Cream and Sambuca.

The fun in the drink is that the ingredients should separate into two distinct visible layers which just goes to show what a want of fun there must be on Cairngorm.

However our hero was told that he could have it with Tequila as they didn't serve Sambuca which is considered to be a fire risk. Now, we can recall in our youth that people used to drink flaming Sambucas - it was all the rage with people who couldn't get enough entertainment from just drinking the stuff - with some coffee beans floating on the top.

The unwary often threw it back quickly and in the process usually suffered minor burns all over their silly faces.

Nonetheless, to describe Sambuca as a fire risk in any bar where every bottle on the gantry contains highly flammable spirit seems to be splitting hairs to an infinite degree.

Linda prepares for the hordes

WINDFARMS are all the rage at the moment as governments everywhere try hard to pretend that they are interested in renewable energy.

Scotland is getting a large number of them and most people have no real objection.

But as much of the power generated by these will go south, it might be worth asking the question, how will the power be transmitted. Up here in our lofty eyrie we are concerned that this will be used to push through the need for super pylons when all the windfarms are operating and we have a surplus of power in the north.

Of course, the companies involved do immense amounts of research and can present us with trusted high grade information to allay our worst fears.

For a recent meeting in Carrbridge, the address that the windfarm company gave for the event was that of local arts consultant and promoter, Linda Jolly, whose house is some distance from the proposed venue which was Carrbridge Village Hall.

Although not a supporter of windfarms generally, she put the kettle on and waited for the population to arrive in its thousands.

Sadly, nobody turned up.

However it leaves us with an energy company that cannot get the address of the village hall correct. Should this worry us about the quality of the rest of their research?

We want more from our moles

NOW that you have read of the exciting lives of our moles you must be desperate to join their ranks.

So if you have any scoops, ideas or are just anxious to help us stave off redundancy don't forget to send your stories and information etcetera to foolscap@btinternet.com